I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
