Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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