yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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