somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
