found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
