Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
