Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The best revenge is premature balding
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
