Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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