Christians are straight up FREAKS
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
