So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
