OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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