so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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