at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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