Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
