we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
