she was so not down for the gang bang
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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