it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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