she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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