Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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