using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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