Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
