I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
