We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
