That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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