OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
