Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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