The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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