Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
