Christians are straight up FREAKS
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
