I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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