At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
