I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
