We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
