They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
