I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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