My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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