just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
