She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
