He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
