It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
