So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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