I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
