a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
