You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
