I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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