i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
