Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
