I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My liver just broke up with me...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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