3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
