Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
