is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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