i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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