When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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